'Is it OK if I Call You Sam?' by Tricia Waller

Please do take a seat, yes that one by the window

beside the failing bizzie lizzie.

And so how are we feeling today then Sam?

Is it ok if I call you Sam?

I think I need a little more to go on than a nod of your head,

Sam, can we attempt to verbalise do you think?

Alright?

How alright exactly - alright good, alright bad?

OK....OK I'll move back out of your personal space -

you only had to say and I'd appreciate less of the

arm waving if you don't mind. You nearly took my eye out!

Right then, did you fill in your feelings journal that I gifted

and left at reception for you last week?

You did! - Splendid. May I take a look - Oh! - Wasn't quiet

what I was expecting and not sure that's the correct

spelling of that particular word, you might have left the 'u'

out?

Did something untoward happen or not happen that

made you feel out of sorts? Oh sorry, it means

irritable, not your usual self..... Sam?

What - you always feel that way? - Well!

Please do not bring my parentage into question Sam and

I hardly see how my education is relevant to this

conversation and no my christian name is not Richard,

neither is my surname Head as you well know!

And this never has and never will be about me so can we

just get back on topic if you please?

No we still have over ten minutes left of our session.

You're pulling on your mackintosh - it isn't a macintosh;

its a Carhartt WIP jacket! Well I stand corrected.

So you're off are you, your choice, you're free to leave of

course. What's that - didn't catch the gist of

what you just mumbled behind your left hand?

Oh I see, you intend coming back next week same time -

yes that's fine; had you provisionally pencilled in my

appointment diary anyhows. I will just ink it in with my

Montblanc gold coated fountain pen. Oh and Sam please

don't...bang the door; it does so trigger my migraines!

Copyright. Tricia Waller.

Has recently had work published in Flash Fiction North, British Fantasy Society and Dreitch. She was a category winner for 'The Stop Loan Sharks' campaign and a runner-up for Story Town Corsham's writing competition last summer.